2017 begun in Cambodia, awaiting an ultimately disappointing sunrise at 04:30am outside Ankhor Wat. The year of the rooster: bad luck and mishap were in store for me, my family, my lovers (or lack of), my career… apologies in retrospect to any 4th to 10th cousins who suffered mishap this year. To ward away bad celestial omens I obtained a blessing from a monk in the Ankhor Wat carpark and the orange and yellow bracelet still hangs over my bed. So was my year a giant pile of dung or can I see positives, despite Trump, Dutton, government sanctioned refugee torture and a marriage equality survey etc?
Prior to spending the first 2 days of the Christmas long weekend napping, I would have said – the horoscopes are true! Grumble, grumble, trudging with heavy feet. I was so burnt out. My bad attitude stunk. I held off writing, since I didn’t want to air my toxicity. Would that be useful for anyone? At the same time, if I wrote from a cruise boat on the Caribbean I would have scoffed burn out, neverrrr. I am invincible! Internship, breezed through. BPT, scoffs, cinch. From a happy medium, I admit my year has been full of work. I saw my parents twice. I have seen my good friends about once each. Also, what love life? A disastrous somewhat expensive matched speed dating trial?!
When I reflect, I can see why I am exhausted. I wrote 40 presentations in ten months. I worked with a team of workaholic consultants, who tended to ward round late, at times past 8pm. (Once my consultant rounded till 11:30pm, but I made an excuse and left hours earlier). Meetings were after hours, so even on a good week I would leave between 1-2 hours late 2 days per week. I did not claim overtime. As an advanced trainee I would have to claim directly from my head of department and supervisor, who would DEFINITELY remember me and how much I cost the department. A silly roster meant that between the five of us, if we all took our ados and covered for the Fridays when BPTs transitioned from 4 week days to a week of nights (then only had two days off before restarting days #wtf), we would be short staffed between 1-2 days per week. Add in the usual difficult work dynamics: a consultant who is chronically unhappy with you, several devastating cases, mistakes and sharp learning curves (we treated a patient as psychogenic who had a huge frontal meningioma. She nearly died!) and dreadful patient interactions (a patient with pseudoseizures who said, I must refrain from talking about her seizures, as I was ONLY a trainee). In summary I am exhausted and I comfort ate myself 6kg fatter.
Yet, I started a website with some friends, with at least middling success (next year we shall gain more followers and get more submissions from you folk, I am certain!). I participated in a minor way in the NSW health JMO wellbeing forum and, whilst institutions change as fast as a rock erodes, things seem hopeful. I discovered Roxane Gay and Discworld, Terry Pratchett- so hilarious! Gods smashing atheist windows. A disc world held up by a giant turtle and elephants! I ran the city to surf. I saw SIA. Many colleagues, especially surgeons and those working and prepping for exams have had a worse 2017. AND NOW we are working together to make medicine better for us all! Here is a meme and a handy picture of nutella, as a random sample of my 2017 experience. Let’s hope the horoscopes are in my favor for 2018. The year of the dog… well dogs are nice?
